The Two Shall Be One
In Eden, the Garden was to be beautifully decorated, as only the hand of God could do it. It was to be set apart for someone special, someone who would be made in the very image of God Himself. The creation of all things had been an ongoing process for the past five days, and God was about to bring about the crowning act of His creation.
It was not for His benefit alone that God called into existence all the beauty of His creation. No. He had someone else in mind who would share and enjoy these things. He said, “Let us make man in our image, after our likeness” (Genesis 1:26). Thus it came about that the object of God’s great love was carefully made by His own hand, in His own image; one who would have dominion over all the other creatures which He had made. And God called him Man.
Of all the wonderful things God created and made, man was to be a new and distinct being. “All heaven took a deep and joyful interest in the creation of the world and of man. Human beings were a new and distinct order. They were made ‘in the image of God,’ and it was the Creator’s design that they should populate the earth.”1
How very close we should all feel to the ties that bind us to our Creator! As is stated in Genesis 2:7, “And the Lord God formed man of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living soul.” The very form and breath of life which we have came from His hand and from His very breath! How much He loved the “new” being to which He gave such thought and care! Man indeed was God’s crowning act.
Now we have the Garden in place, a beautiful paradise placed eastward in Eden; now also we have the man made in God’s own image who was to occupy that garden. But something was missing - what was that? We find the answer in Genesis 2:18, “The Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.” The scriptures tell us how this was done. Genesis 2:21–24, “The Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof; and the rib, which the Lord God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man. And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man. Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.”
Here, in verse 24, we find the beginning of the marriage institution, set forth by God Himself. This was a sacred institution which was to be kept holy and undefiled as long as time upon earth should last.
“‘And the Lord God planted a garden eastward in Eden; and there He put the man whom He had formed’ (Genesis 2:8). Everything that God had made was the perfection of beauty, and nothing seemed wanting that could contribute to the happiness of the holy pair; yet the Creator gave them still another token of His love, by preparing a garden especially for their home. . . . In the midst of the garden stood the tree of life, surpassing in glory all other trees. Its fruit appeared like apples of gold and silver, and had the power to perpetuate life.”2
How perfect and beautiful is the scene thus portrayed before us! God’s crowning glory of creation, Man, and someone who was to be his companion for life, Woman. For them He had prepared a beautiful home which contained everything which they would need. He did not leave anything undone in this, His plan, for a beautiful and lasting marriage.
“God celebrated the first marriage. Thus the institution has for its originator the Creator of the universe. ‘Marriage is honourable’; it was one of the first gifts of God to man, and it is one of the two institutions that, after the fall, Adam brought with him beyond the gates of Paradise. When the divine principles are recognized and obeyed in this relation, marriage is a blessing; it guards the purity and happiness of the race, it provides for man’s social needs, it elevates the physical, the intellectual, and the moral nature.
Centuries later, “He who gave Eve to Adam as a helpmeet performed His first miracle at a marriage festival. In the festal hall where friends and kindred rejoiced together, Christ began His public ministry. Thus He sanctioned marriage, recognizing it as an institution that He Himself had established.”3
Thus we find that God knew what man’s needs would be and He wanted to supply for him one who could meet those needs; one who would be a help-meet, or one suitable, for him; one in whom his desires could be fulfilled.
As was just quoted, Jesus’ first miracle was performed at a wedding feast. You may read of this more detail in John chapter 2. There we find an account of Jesus’ desire to be of help to the wedding party by supplying them with a need that they had.
“The Scriptures state that both Jesus and His disciples were called to this marriage feast (at Cana). Christ has given Christians no sanction to say when invited to a marriage, We ought not to be present on so joyous an occasion. By attending this feast Christ taught that He would have us rejoice with those who do rejoice in the observance of His statutes. He never discouraged the innocent festivities of mankind when carried on in accordance with the laws of Heaven. A gathering that Christ honored by His presence, it is right that His followers should attend. After attending this feast, Christ attended many others, sanctifying them by His presence and instruction.”4
“By His presence Jesus honored the marriage ceremony. The active interest that He manifested on this occasion showed that He came not to put a cloud over the happiness of the family and the guests. Jesus was in full sympathy with the pure joy to be found in this occasion. By His presence He showed Himself to be in harmony with the blessed institution of marriage. And He gave His sanction to every gathering that is pure, and lovely and of good report.”5
“Marriage has received Christ’s blessing, and it is to be regarded as a sacred institution. True religion is not to counterwork the Lord’s plans. God ordained that man and woman should be united in holy wedlock, to raise up families that, crowned with honor, would be symbols of the family in heaven.
“And at the beginning of His public ministry Christ gave His decided sanction to the institution that had been sanctioned in Eden. Thus He declared to all that He will not refuse His presence on marriage occasions, and that marriage, when joined with purity and holiness, truth and righteousness, is one of the greatest blessings ever given to the human family.”6
“The two who unite their interest in life will have distinct characteristics and individual responsibilities. Each one will have his or her work, but women are not to be valued by the amount of work they can do as are beasts of burden. The wife is to grace the family circle as a wife and companion to a wise husband. At every step she should inquire ‘Is this the standard of true womanhood?’ and ‘How shall I make my influence Christlike in my home?’ The husband should let his wife know that he appreciates her work.
“The wife is to respect her husband. The husband is to love and cherish his wife; and as their marriage vow unites them as one, so their belief in Christ should make them one in Him. What can be more pleasing to God than to see those who enter into the marriage relation seek together to learn of Jesus and to become more and more imbued with His Spirit?”7
“In your life union your affections are to be tributary to each other’s happiness. Each is to minister to the happiness of the other. This is the will of God concerning you. But while you are to blend as one, neither of you is to lose his or her individuality in the other. God is the owner of your individuality. Of Him you are to ask: What is right? What is wrong? How may I best fulfill the purpose of my creation? ‘Ye are not your own; for ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God’s’(1 Corinthians 6:19, 20). Your love for that which is human is to be secondary to your love for God. The wealth of your affection is to flow forth to Him who gave His life for you. Living for God, the soul sends forth to Him its best and highest affections. Is the greatest outflow of your love toward Him who died for you? If it is, your love for each other will be after heaven’s order.”8
The Scriptures make a comparison between the love a husband and wife should have for one another with that love which Christ has for His church. “So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church. . . . For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh” (Ephesians 5: 28, 29, 31).
“Marriage, a union for life, is a symbol of the union between Christ and His church. The spirit that Christ manifests toward His church is the spirit that the husband and wife are to manifest toward each other. If they love God supremely, they will love each other in the Lord. . . . In their mutual self-denial and self-sacrifice they will be a blessing to each other.”9
Ephesians 4:32 states, “Be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.”
“If there is any subject that should be considered with calm reason and unimpassioned judgment, it is the subject of marriage. If ever the Bible is needed as a counselor, it is before taking a step that binds persons together for life. But the prevailing sentiment is that in this matter the feelings are to be the guide, and in too many cases lovesick sentimentalism takes the helm and guides to certain ruin. It is here that the youth show less intelligence than on any other subject; it is here that they refuse to be reasoned with. The question of marriage seems to have a bewitching power over them. They do not submit themselves to God. Their senses are enchained, and they move forward in secretiveness, as if fearful that their plans would be interfered with by someone. . . .
“If men and women are in the habit of praying twice a day before they contemplate marriage, they should pray four times a day when such a step is anticipated. Marriage is something that will influence and affect your life, both in this world and in the world to come.”10
So it was that the man and woman were placed in the garden to keep it and dress it, to enjoy its beauty. They were to live within the love with which their Creator had made them. They were also to be obedient to His law. “To man, the crowning work of creation, God has given power to understand His requirements, to comprehend the justice and beneficence of His law, and its sacred claims upon him; and of man unswerving obedience is required.”11 But, as we know by reading the third chapter of Genesis, the once-innocent and holy pair did fall by transgressing the law which God had given them to obey. And, because Adam did fall, his posterity has been born with inherent propensities of disobedience. We can see the result of this in our world today.
It is for this reason that much thought, prayer, and contemplation should be given to the subject of marriage, of uniting oneself with someone who is to be a partner for life. It can be a partnership for happiness and increasing love toward God or for much misery and loss of souls in the end.
“It is often the case that persons before marriage have little opportunity to become acquainted with each other’s habits and disposition; and, so far as everyday life is concerned, they are virtually strangers when they unite their interests at the altar. Many find, too late, that they are not adapted to each other, and lifelong wretchedness is the result of their union.”12
“Before giving her hand in marriage, every woman should inquire whether he with whom she is about to unite her destiny is worthy. What has been his past record? Is his life pure? Is the love which he expresses of a noble, elevated character, or is it a mere emotional fondness? Has he the traits of character that will make her happy? Can she find true peace and joy in his affection? Will she be allowed to preserve her individuality, or must her judgment and conscience be surrendered to the control of her husband? As a disciple of Christ, she is not her own; she has been bought with a price. Can she honor the Saviour’s claims as supreme? Will body and soul, thoughts and purposes, be preserved pure and holy? These questions have a vital bearing upon the well-being of every woman who enters the marriage relation.”13
“Let a young man seek one to stand by his side who is fitted to bear her share of life’s burdens, one whose influence will ennoble and refine him, and who will make him happy in her love. . . .
“ ‘A prudent wife is from the Lord.’ (Proverbs 19:14). ‘The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her. . . . She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.’ ‘She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness. She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness. Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her. Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all’ ” (Proverbs 19:14; 31:11, 12, 26-29). . . .
“In your choice of a wife study her character. Will she be one who will be patient and painstaking? Or will she cease to care for your mother and father at the very time when they need a strong son to lean upon? And will she withdraw him from their society to carry out her plans and to suit her own pleasure, and leave the father and mother who, instead of gaining an affectionate daughter, will have lost a son?”14
Make haste slowly. “Few have correct views of the marriage relation. Many seem to think that it is the attainment of perfect bliss; but if they could know one quarter of the heartaches of men and women that are bound by the marriage vow in chains that they cannot and dare not break, they would not be surprised that I trace these lines. Marriage, in a majority of cases, is a most galling yoke. There are thousands that are mated but not matched. The books of heaven are burdened with the woes, the wickedness, and the abuse that lie hidden under the marriage mantle. That is why I would warn the young who are of marriageable age to make haste slowly in the choice of a companion.”15
Get counsel from the Bible. “Instituted by God, marriage is a sacred ordinance and should never be entered upon in a spirit of selfishness. Those who contemplate this step should solemnly and prayerfully consider its importance and seek divine counsel that they may know whether they are pursuing a course in harmony with the will of God. The instruction given in God’s word on this point should be carefully considered. Heaven looks with pleasure upon a marriage formed with an earnest desire to conform to the directions given in the Scripture.”16
Youth need the wisdom of age and experience. “When so much misery results from marriage, why will not the youth be wise? Why will they continue to feel that they do not need the counsel of older and more experienced persons? In business men and women manifest great caution. Before engaging in any important enterprise, they prepare themselves for their work. Time, money, and much careful study are devoted to the subject, lest they shall make a failure in their undertaking.
“How much greater caution should be exercised in entering the marriage relation - a relation which affects future generations and the future life?”17
We have seen through this study, taken from the Scriptures and the Spirit of Prophecy, just how God looks upon marriage. It has been from the beginning a blessed event, an institution formed and honored by Him and as old as the earth itself. Because of the entrance of sin and the fall of humanity, many things have become perverted, even the heart itself. It is because of this that there is an ongoing struggle between right and wrong. But, with divine guidance, we can make the correct choices and decisions in all the relationships of life, including that of marriage.
Whether you are already married or considering taking this great step, look diligently into the instruction given by God Himself. For as it is stated in Matthew 19:6, “What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.” We are to be joined together “til death do us part.”